There's a Snake in My Boot: Archive

Jan 1st

65 notes

1 tag

Jan 1st

77,550 notes

2 tags

Jan 1st

241 notes

2 tags

Jan 1st

19,736 notes

2 tags

HOLIDAYS UPDATE (aka, I'm not dead, just not near...

1. Graduated from college with a B.A. 2. Have no clue what I’m doing with the rest of my life 3. Received the Christmas presents I should’ve gotten when I was a kid: jump rope & a puzzle 4. The puzzle was missing a piece. Dammit. 5. Why am I watching basketball? I hate basketball. 6. Why did my brother get Dad’s old guitar? THE BOOGER DOES NOT DESERVE SUCH 1970s WOODEN...

Jan 1st

My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-25) →

Three Days Grace (68) Hans Zimmer (35) Jam£s (21) Yeah Yeah Yeahs (15) Zack Hemsey (13) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz

Dec 30th

1 tag

Every Major Batman Costume in One Convenient...

nevver: Benjamin Moore [larger]

Dec 23rd

555 notes

1 tag

Dec 23rd

27,822 notes

3 tags

Dec 23rd

3,450 notes

2 tags

Dec 23rd

1,522 notes

6 tags

“Supernatural and Smallville actually shoot a block away from each other, and I’m...”

– Tom Welling (via lollipop85) LOL. Tom “The Troll” Welling (via iamforart)

Dec 23rd

3,675 notes

4 tags

Dec 23rd

180 notes

2 tags

Dec 23rd

19 notes

3 tags

Operation: Find "The Hobbit" Trailer is a go.

My mother saw it before I even knew it existed. That is how much I’ve been on the internet compared to my family this past week.

Dec 23rd

2 tags

Dec 23rd

6,679 notes

3 tags

They're made out of Meat, by Terry Bisson

 "They're made out of meat."
 "Meat?"
 "Meat. They're made out of meat."
 "Meat?"
 "There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
 "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."
 "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
 "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
 "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
 "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."
 "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."
 "Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."
 "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"
 "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."
 "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."
 "No brain?"
 "Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"
 "So... what does the thinking?"
 "You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."
 "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
 "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
 "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."
 "Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
 "So what does the meat have in mind?"
 "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."
 "We're supposed to talk to meat?"
 "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."
 "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
 "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
 "I thought you just told me they used radio."
 "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
 "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
 "Officially or unofficially?"
 "Both."
 "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
 "I was hoping you would say that."
 "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"
 "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
 "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
 "So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."
 "That's it."
 "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
 "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."
 "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."
 "And we can mark this sector unoccupied."
 "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
 "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
 "They always come around."
 "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."